Emergence lyrics

Power of the Sun

Power of the sun

Power of the water

Power of the earth and wind

Mother father son

I am your daughter

Let me come home again

Let me come home again

My Story

 

It's a whole new language I gotta learn how to speak to say what I've got to say 

Somewhere between striking with a knife 

And turning the other cheek

Not just look away

Deep inside the silence

A woman starts to scream

Is it his or her story?

Hers or history?

It's a beautiful house and a beautiful yard

And a beautiful family

The mother was modern the father worked hard

The lovely children three

But every night at bedtime

I could not trust my dreams

Is it his or her story?

Hers or history?

Like a bird in a beautiful cage

Or a rat in a maze

Someone else's shadow play

But I'm not gonna play that game

Sometimes words that you say

Or just the look on your face

Makes me hide my head in shame

But I'm not going to lie for you no more

I'm gonna tell My Story My Story My Story

It's the cruelest betrayal the strongest taboo

This song, this wrong I gotta write

It's exactly the last thing that I want to do

Start this losing fight

But deep inside the silence a woman starts to sing

Is it his or her story?

Hers or history?

The Well

It hits you at the oddest moments

No it's not the moments at all

It's more the way it comes from deep

Down in your marrow

It bubbles up beneath your skin

You struggle not to sink again

You can't afford to blink or it'll pull you in

Down to the place you don't want to go

Deep down down down down down 

Deep down in the well

Deep down deep down deep down to hell I go

And I drink there bitter waters for my thirst

And I think there this cannot get worse

I do not want to know these things

I don't want to fall to my knees

I don't want to crawl and scream

Ripping at the carpet

I do not want to show my face

I cannot live with this disgrace

I have completely lost all sense of place

And I've got nowhere to go

But down deep down deep down

Deep down in the well

Deep down deep down deep down to hell I go

And I drink there bitter waters for my thirst

And I think there this cannot get worse

I don't want to know

I don't want to go 

I don't want to see

I don't want to believe

I don't want to lose

I don't want to choose

Tell me why the fuck

Would I want to make it up?

It hits you at the oddest moments

No it's not the moments at all

It's more the way it comes from deep

Down in your marrow

Dreamfields

In the Dreamfields where I sleep

Out beyond rhyme and reason

Far beyond right and wrong

Loyalty and treason

You talk to me there like a brother would

Just small talk and pleasantries and it feels so good

No holy war, no sword, no mention of blame

Or the family name

In the Dreamfields there I keep

A sister's loving vision

Of the hero of my youth

A man of strength and wisdom

And he talks to me there like a brother would

And he tells me he cares and it feels so good

And I tell him I love him and there is no shame

On the family name

I was only telling the truth the way they taught me

Truth at all costs, truth at all costs

Look what it cost me

Loot what it cost me

Look what it cost

This truth with no proof

In the Dreamfields where I sleep

Out beyond loss and sorrow

Crystal soothing waters run

And a warm and gentle wind blows

And it talks to me there like a brother would

And the sun shines down all around

And it feels so good

And the earth holds me up like a family should

If it only could

If it only would 

In the Dreamfields

The Perfect Crime

It's the Perfect Crime, carried out on children

It's the Perfect Crime, nothing you can do

It's the Perfect Crime, no one will believe you

It's the Perfect Crime, no witnesses but you

Now that you're grown do you want to talk about it?

Now that you're grown do you want to take that risk?

Now that you're grown

All your friends are gonna doubt it

Say you're over-dramatizing

Say you're looking for attention

Say you must be fantasizing 

Saying it's not cool to mention

It's the Perfect Crime, carried out in silence

It's the Perfect Crime, on the trusting and the weak

It's the Perfect Crime, a different kind of violence

It's the Perfect Crime, and you must never speak

Now that you're grown after years of being threatened

Now that you're grown you just want to get away

Now that you're grown

Surely you have learned your lessons

There is no such thing as justice 

There are words that can't be spoken

There is no one to be trusted

Will the circle be unbroken?

All my life I've been living in a dream

Afraid of this awakening

All my life I've been swallowing a scream

Terrified of violence, afraid to break the silence

My own tongue would never let me 

Sure that they would come and get me

It's the Perfect Crime, just go ask my father

It's the Perfect Crime, there's nothing I can do

It's the Perfect Crime, and I was the perfect daughter

For the Perfect Crime, until I told the truth

Now that I'm grown my perfect childhood gone forever

Now that I've spoken somehow I'm the one to blame

Now I'm alone, wasn't I so awfully clever?

I thought I blew his cover  but he's smelling like a rose

With the whole world in his corner

Well that's just the way it goes

With the Perfect Crime

Two Taboos

See no evil, hear no evil

Most of all, we don't speak of evil

See no evil, hear no evil

Most of all, don't speak of evil

Two Taboos  

One is for the father

Two Taboos

And the other one's for me

Two Taboos

Don't you ever touch your daughter

But daughter even if he does

You must never speak

We're all so careful to be polite

So we politely look the other way

While in the silence of broad daylight

Incest, child molest happens every day

But still we see no evil, hear no evil

Most of all, we don't speak of evil...

They say that incest is the strongest taboo

But it goes unpunished all the time

But talk about it 

And they're sure to crucify you

Breaking the silence seems to be

The more dangerous crime

Because we see no evil...

Two Taboos...

Song for Lisa

 

It'd been so long since I'd seen you

I figured you were someplace dead

Then I hear that you're three years clear

And you're so full of life instead

You were the sister that I needed

The child I had lost

You made your way back home again

And you paid the cost

You made your way back home again

And you paid the cost

You told me you were getting your history straight

I told you so was I

We held each other and we cried

Together hand in hand again we can let go of a lie

Lisa, I believe I could fly

You were the mother that I wanted

A companion through my fears

The friend I had in silence over all those years

You were the friend I had in silence over all those years

I don't know when I'm gonna see you again

When I might pass this way

But your spirit speaks in the people I meet

I hear your voice every day

Saying keep on moving full circle girl

Keep on keeping on

Bless this path you walk for it has made you strong

Bless this path you walk for it has made you strong

Bless this path you walk for it has made you strong

Opening Up

song by Dan Connor ©1993

Winter to winter I stood by the door

A stairway imposing and dark

As seen from the ocean one might fear the shore

But I long to feel my heart

Opening up

Opening up

Something secret's escaping

Deep in the darkness ancient commands

Swept my intentions aside

Like barricades keeping the sea from the sand

But I feel a rising tide

Opening up

Opening up

Something secret's escaping

Opening up

Opening up

Something sacred is falling down

All the king's horses and all the king's men

They could not put him together again

All the king's horses and all the king's men

They could not put him together

I must light a candle to demons denied

To what's lost and what still remains

For all I've kept hidden I don't have to hide

And the choices I've regained

Opening up...

Secrets & Lies

I got my secrets from my father

And I passed them on to my daughter

I did not see that she would learn the same from me

I never laid a finger on her

But I did not treat her with honor

Cuz every day I smoked my dope to run away

Secrets & Lies yes I was a master

Secrets & Lies I thought I'd get it past her

Everything outside looked just fine to me

But she saw, she knew, she got it, she grew

Into the trouble I was leading her straight to

And now I see how she was watching me

She learned exactly what my life was there to teach

I believe we create the world in our families.

We either pass on our sad histories to our children

Or we give them the opportunity to create 

Something new.

I finally got it that every time I took a drink or a drug

To run away from my past

I was running right back into its arms,

And I was passing that poison on to my children.

But no more.  No more.

 

Secrets & Lies a family tradition

Secrets & Lies an internal condition

Where everything outside looks just fine to you

But she saw, she knew, she got it, she grew

Into the trouble I was leading her straight to

And now I see how she was watching me

She learned exactly what my life was there to teach

And now I pray just for today

That I can live in such a way

That she is free in every way

I am moving from darkness into light

I am moving from blindness into sight
I am moving from confusion into clarity

From selfishness to charity

I am moving from dying into living

I am moving from from anger into forgiving

I am moving from hatred into love

I am moving from loneliness into love

I am moving from fear into love

I am moving from fear into love...

I am moving out of my fear into love

Warrior

song by Kim Baryluk ©1993

I was a shy and lonely child

With the heavens in my eyes

And as I walked along the lane

I heard the echoes of her cries

I cannot fight, I cannot a fierce Warrior be

It's not my nature nor my teaching

It is the womanhood in me

I was a lost and angry youth

There were no tears in my eyes

I saw no justice in my world

Only the echoes of her cries

I cannot fight, I cannot a fierce Warrior be

It's not my nature nor my teaching

It is the womanhood in me 

 

I am an older woman now

And I will heed my own cries

And I will a fierce Warrior be

Til not another woman dies

I can and will fight, I can and will a Warrior be

It is my nature and my duty

It is the womanhood in me

I can and will fight, I can and will a Warrior be

It is my nature and my duty

It is the sisterhood in me

Don't Say a Word

 

Don't Say a Word or you're going to be sorry

Shut up and go to sleep

No one would ever believe such a story

And silence is what you must keep

Everyone knows that children are liars

And grown ups have cornered the truth

Don't Say a Word or I'll skin you alive

And besides what have you got for proof?

Don't Say a Word or you'll lose your whole family

They'll come take your daddy away

Your mother will hate you for wrecking her life

And your brothers will curse you always

Everyone knows he's a prince of a man

He's a fine and upstanding adult

Because of your lies his whole kingdom could crumble

And child it would all be your fault

I don't know what to do with the voices

The voices that scream in my head

I don't know what to say to myself

When I think I'd be better off dead

Don't Say a Word or we'll surely expose

That it's you who are wicked and vile

Anything you say will be used against you

And now it is you here on trial

Everyone knows that you don't stand a chance

It is you who must lose every time

Don't Say a Word just learn to accept

you're the victim of the perfect crime

Ode to Stephanie

I was driving along with my friend Stephanie

Babbling on about the goddess Persephone

Was she willing or was she raped?

And what did he tell her before she escaped?


It got me thinking about the old man Lucifer

Hades the name in the story 'bout the girl

Who only knew how to play

And she would surely believe every word you'd say

And I've been meaning to tell you for all of this time

He was the adult

And you were just a little girl and it was surely a crime but

It wasn't your fault

It wasn't your fault

It wasn't your fault

Stephanie agreed and Cheryl did too

It was time to grow up and fill those shoes 

That were left us by the Crone

But first we had to ascend that throne

And Steph said, "I'm scared to be the queen"

And I said, "yea," and I shuddered

Thinking of that scene

She tells her huntsman to bring back the heart

Of the Snow White princess alone in the dark

And I've been meaning to tell you for all of these years

You ain't no pillar of salt

And I've been wanting to shake you and rattle your tears

It wasn't your fault

It wasn't your fault

It wasn't your fault

Hades and Persephone sitting in a tree

Next thing that you know they're K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love, then comes marriage

Then comes all the rage

Feeling like you're underground or living in a cage

Spring turns to summer, summer turns to fall

Autumn turns to winter, and nothing grows at all

Mama is beside herself calling out your name

You cannot answer her, you cannot answer

You cannot answer for the shame

Well the shame was thick, it was thick as blood

It was red as pomegranate it was strong as love

And he was preying upon your need

And so you swallowed that one little seed

And now you're a woman but still you're a girl

And you're half underground and you're half in the world

And you're wanting to get to the sky

But you're weighted down by a great big lie

And I've been meaning to tell you now that you're grown

You're the adult

And you can re-write the story and make it your own, girl

It wasn't your fault

It wasn't your fault

It wasn't your fault

It wasn't your fault

Too Much

I love you Too Much to tell the truth

I love me Too Much to tell the lie

And so I hang myself with what's the use?

Why try?  Why try?  

 

There is nothing I love more than my family

The ones of my birthing and the ones of my birth

Though I've been forever scarred by both

I think you could say

I wear the marks proudly, for what they're worth

I love you Too Much to explain

I love me Too Much to deny

I only know how good it felt to be home again

And so I cry, I cry

So I drop the subject, I move far away from there

You've hurt us so deeply they want to say

You've hurt me so deeply I want to cry

But we come back again with beautiful smiles on our face

And we laugh and we lie and we give and we try

But we enjoy the sacred rhythm of the family

Subtle something lifelong feeling fitting so right

And all I have to do to keep this sweet mantle over me

Is be quiet, be polite

So I come back and I'm on self-destruct mode

I want to binge I want to smoke

I want to choke the girl with the big brown eyes

For making the same deal that she made so long ago

To never be lonely and never be right

I love you long as I live

I love you forever and yet

For the sake of love god knows that I can forgive

But for the children, I can't forget

Enter Into Healing

 

When you Enter Into Healing

Be prepared to lose everything

When you Enter Into Healing

Be prepared to be alone

There is nothing that is sacred 

There is no one who's inviolate, there maybe nothing left

As you rip away the safety of every truth you've known

When you Enter Into Healing

You must welcome home the enemy

Your heart will tell you stories

That your mind will not believe

As your body reawakens

It will flood your days with memories, dreaded memories

And the power of that birthing will bring you to your knees

When you Enter Into Healing

I'll be sending all my strength to you

When you Enter Into Healing

I'll be there to beat the drum

As you learn to face the feelings

Your own courage will amaze you, nothing can faze you

As you find the wings of freedom that you need to overcome

When you Enter Into Healing

You bring the greatest gift to me

And to every child who suffers still 

And believes she is alone

With each voice that breaks the silence

Is a choice to claim a victory, one more victory

And make the world a little safer for every child to grow

And make the world a little safer for every child to grow

Thank You Song

 

When there's light in the soul, there's beauty in the person 

When there's beauty in the person, there is harmony in the home

When there's harmony in the home, there is honor in the nation

When there's honor in the nation, there is peace in the world

I want to sing a Thank You Song to all my earth angels

I want to sing the praises of the people I have known

I want to bless each and every face

Every smile, every hand on my shoulder

All of you who held the space when I thought I was alone

I'm taking to you, all my sisters who walked this road beside me

I'm talking to you, all my brothers, who helped to bring me home

To my teachers, to my lovers, to my husbands, to my children

To the healers, all you warriors whose only weapon is love

I want to honor my ancestors, all who came before me

And I honor this life's family for the love that you have shown

When there's light in the soul, there's beauty in the person 

When there's beauty in the person, there is harmony in the home

When there's harmony in the home, there is honor in the nation

When there's honor in the nation, there is peace in the world

All songs except Opening Up and Warrior © Cici Porter 1993

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